2 months old!

It's hard to believe I have a two month old! She has grown so much in 2 months. She is currently 12 lbs 10 ozs, and 23 inches long. She smiles and coos and even giggles sometimes. She can sit with support, and stand if I hold some of her weight, and help her keep her waist straight. She started off wanting to be held constantly, and I had a really tough time getting anything done. Now she is starting to be okay with being put in a swing or a bouncy seat for a little while. She's got a tooth trying to press through her gums, toward the back, and that's making her rather unhappy. She has officially hit the "drooly baby" stage. Every single day, I am just enamored with her. Part of me wishes I could keep her little forever, and part of me is having so much fun watching her grow! It's absolutely wonderful being the mother of a baby girl!

She's Here!

So, the days leading up to the induction, I was going absolutely insane! I cried once, out of sheer nerves. I was so afraid of something going wrong. I was worried I would forget something. I was just nervous about the prospect as a whole. When at long last, the time came to leave for the hospital, I would probably have completely fallen apart had it not been for Brittany and Russ. They kept me calm, and helped me make sure I had everything I needed. On the ride to the hospital, I was practically bouncing.

Once we'd arrived at the hospital, my nerves didn't get much better. They got us settled into a room, I signed a bunch of stuff, and then they gave me the cirvidil. Russ and I stayed awake until almost midnight, watching TV and snacking. Finally, I asked for an ambien so I could go to sleep, and I don't remember anything after that until early the next morning.

I woke up at 5, and was too nervous to go back to sleep, so I checked facebook from my phone. At 5:30, a nurse came in and gave me an enema. At around 6, my OB showed up, and let me know she was going to do a c-section, and then she'd come get me started. Around 7:30, she came back, set up my epidural, and started an IV with pitocin. I went numb from the waist down. Mom, Brittany, and Cliff came, and spent most of the day there with me. Mom had to go pick up Rusty from school at one point, because he was sick. She took a nap before coming back up. Brittany had to go twice to check on her boys. For the most part, I was bored. I watched a lot of TV, napped a couple times, and kept an eye on the monitor that showed my contractions. At some point, after they broke my water, they had to up my dose on the epidural, because I was starting to feel the contractions a little bit. It wasn't long after that, that I noticed that with every contraction, I felt like I needed to poop. It took several contractions before I realized that what I was feeling was the urge to push. So, Russ got my parents on web cam, so they could watch, and the nurses transformed my bed, and I began to push. It felt like I pushed for hours, but in reality it was only 30 minutes. The worst part of that was that the epidural somehow missed the area between my legs, so I felt her coming out, I felt myself tearing, and afterward, I felt the stitches. All in all, though, It went very smoothly.

When she came out, Russ got to catch her. That was so special! They layed her on my stomach and let me cut the cord. Then, while my OB stitched me up, I held Lexi on my chest and tried to nurse her. Nursing was a no-go, but that's okay. Just holding her was simply amazing! I felt immediately bonded to her, and I didn't want to let her go. Unfortunately, I had to let her go, because they had to do some tests, and give her medicine and such. I layed there, aching for her, until they brought her back to me. They told me she was 7 lbs 3 ozs, and 21 inches long. She scored a 9 on her apgar, which is a fantastic score! She was wide eyed and alert for several hours after delivery. We stayed in the delivery room for quite a while, because my epidural took a long time to wear off in my left leg. At long last, they wheeled me to my post partum room, and they took Lexi to the nursery for her first bath. Russ went to help give her a bath. I tried to nap while they were gone, but I missed her too much. When they finally came back, I was able to relax and sleep.

Lexi slept very well the first night. In the morning, we nursed successfully for the first time! I was still ecstatic  and enjoying everything! I spent the whole day cuddling with her, recording every time I fed her or changed her diaper, and enjoying my visitors. Rusty spent most of the day there with us. That night was not as easy as the first. Lexi was hungry a lot that night, and I didn't get much sleep at all. The next day was going home day! The first half of the day we were still at the hospital, and I was antsy. Going home felt both exciting and scary. A little bit after lunch, we were discharged, and began gathering up all our stuff. Once we got home, I started getting myself settled in. I found a comfy spot to nurse her, and tried to nap when I had the chance.

The first full day home, Russ had to go back to work. I mostly relaxed, did a little school work, and got on facebook for the first time since she'd been born. Today was her fourth day of life! We took her to the hospital this morning, to check her biliruben levels, and she is normal. Russ is at work again. Tomorrow, she has her first doctor's appointment, early in the morning.

I'm feeling excited about everything, grateful for the huge blessings I've been given, and eager for life with Lexi!

Drawing Closer to Induction Day!

Okay, so at my last appointment, the date of my induction was officially set in stone. I asked my OB every question I could think of. I had her walk me through the process, what happens first, then what, then what, and how long does it usually take. After scheduling it, she gave me an instruction sheet, which basically goes over all the same stuff we talked about already.

Russ and I will arrive at the hospital around 8pm, Tuesday night...that is, assuming there is an available bed. We will have to call ahead of time and make sure before we head up there. I'm only allowed to have one person with me that night, and that will be Russ. I am also only allowed to have one small bag, with things I will need during the labor. The rest of my stuff has to stay in the car until after she's born. Once I'm checked in, they will give me a Cervidil suppository, which is to get the process of dilation going. Sometimes that on it's own will start labor, and if that's the case, then I'll have to call people to come on up to the hospital after all. At that point, I'll have to sign some consent forms, they'll put some monitors on me, and I won't be allowed to get out of bed for two hours. I'll be allowed to eat and drink until midnight, so I'll probably be sending Russ to get me some food around 11:30, lol. If I want it (which I probably will) they will give me a medication to help me sleep. The next morning, whenever my OB gets there, they will start an IV with a pitocin drip, an epidural, and they will probably break my water. And then....LABOR! My OB said that normally, the baby will be born within 24 hours of getting checked into the hospital.

Now, with this whole plan all set up, you'd think I would feel stable, like I know what to expect, and when to expect it. Well, I don't. I feel like there is SO MUCH I need to get done before Tuesday night, and so much to think about! For one thing, I'm getting close to the end of the class I'm taking, and at the end, the class will lock everybody out, so there won't really be time for make up work. As of Wednesday, there will be about three days of class left before it locks up. So, I have formulated a plan to have everything left for my class done by Tuesday morning. That, in itself, is going to keep me pretty busy for the next few days. I need to go through my hospital bags and organize it so that I have one bag with only the things I need for labor. I figured I'll use the bag where Russ is keeping himself a change of clothes, and I'll throw my hugging pillow, the camera, the snacks, and our birth plan into that bag. Then all the baby stuff, and my changes of clothes, and my toiletries, can wait in the car. My plan is to keep myself as busy as possible between now and Tuesday, or else I will probably go insane. Today, I spent most of the afternoon helping burn some brush on the back of the property, and hanging out with Mom and Pop. I don't know what I'll do tomorrow...maybe go ahead and get the hospital bags organized, do some school work, and find something to keep my mind busy the rest of the day. On Monday, I've got laundry to do, and fold, and I'm going to dust if I'm feeling up to it, and cook dinner, and work on school. On Tuesday, I will be finishing the rest of my school work for this class, then I'm going to take a long, relaxing bath. I will spend the rest of Tuesday going insane, because at that point, there will be no avoiding it. I will probably help Rusty prepare a bag to bring to the hospital when he visits....he can bring a movie or something to watch in the hospital room, and a few toys. Then, that night, I'll make sure Rusty gets a bath...I'll call the hospital to make sure there's a bed open...I'll say good bye to Rusty, and give him lots of hugs and kisses, and tell him I can't wait to see him again...then Russ and I will head off to the hospital to begin the process. And on the car ride there, I will probably be bouncing with nerves!!!

I am excited too, though! I'm going to have my baby girl very soon! I'm going to hold her in my arms, and hear her cry, and kiss her, and nurse her, and be amazed by the miracle that Russ and I have created. This is going to be an amazing time for us, and I couldn't be more thrilled that it is so close! Maybe that's why it's all I can think about! Now if only I could stop thinking about it long enough to get some sleep!!!

And Still Waiting....

Last Friday I had my 39 week appointment, and it went well. It was even kind of exciting. She said I was about 2 cms dilated, and 70-80% effaced. I felt fantastic, because I was actually making progress! I'd kind of hoped to have her before 39 weeks, but at least something was happening. Now I'm hoping to have her before 40 weeks.

On Saturday morning, as we were in church, I began having contractions. They were nothing unusual. About the same as what I'd been having before. I squeezed Russ' hand and breathed through them. I scared a few people, who thought I might have Lexi right there in church. If only those people had seen me for the last four weeks!!! Anyway, after church we went home, and I tried to relax. I kept having contractions, and although the timing was irregular, they were getting increasingly stronger. I was having more and more trouble breathing through them. Russ called in to work, because we weren't sure if this was the real thing or not. As the intensity of the contractions increased, we both started to think it could be. I tried several of the techniques that are supposed to help ease false labor, such as taking a walk, and having some hot tea, and changing positions a lot. None of it helped, and walking actually made them more frequent for a little while. I still was not sure if we should go to the hospital, because of the irregularity of the timing, and because my water hadn't broken, and there was no bloody show, and my belly wasn't getting as hard as the doctors say it should. But, Russ and everybody else kept asking me if I was ready to go, and saying they thought I should. By almost 7 pm, I decided to just go. The timing had gotten slightly more regular, and the contractions were some of the strongest I have ever felt.

Even as we were on the way to the hospital, I became more and more convinced that I must be in labor. I was just in so much pain! When we got there, they checked my dilation first, and said it was not quite 2 cms. That was the first discouraging part. Then they hooked up the monitors and let me sit there for a few hours. I don't know if the monitor was broken, or what. Every time I had a contraction, and was in so much pain, the line that's supposed to show the contractions actually dropped, instead of going up. So, when I wasn't having a contraction, according to the monitor, it looked like I was, and when I was, it looked like I wasn't. I was frustrated by that, because I felt like the doctors weren't getting an accurate idea of what was happening. The nurse came and checked on me several times, and I did tell her about the monitor. She simply readjusted it, and it kept doing the same thing. A couple hours after getting there, the contractions actually did start to recede. They were still coming pretty close together, but the intensity was lessening. As more time passed, they became more and more irregular again, and at that point, I already knew what they were going to tell me.

When the doctor came in to check my dilation, he shook his head and said, "She is being stubborn." He said there had been no change in my dilation since i got there. He also said that my nurse, on Friday morning, had put down that I was 80% effaced, but he thought that was generous. He would have gone with 60-70%. I felt so completely defeated. I felt like I had lost progress, rather than made any. The doctor did try to reassure me. He said, when he checks a cervix, he's checking for five things. He's checking that the cervix has moved from the back to the front, which mine has. He's checking to see if it's softened, and mine is 100% soft. He's checking to see if the baby is pressing down on it, and mine is. He's checking for effacement, and I'm about 70%. And of course, he's checking for dilation, which I hardly have any of. He told me that I've got 3 out of 5, and that's great, and I'm more than half way done effacing. He said there's no way to give an estimate of how long effacement will take, but he expects to see me again soon. Then he gave me some Tylenol 3 for pain and some Ambien to help me sleep, and sent me home.

Russ and I are both frustrated. I feel guilty because Russ missed work for another false alarm. I feel depressed, because I got my hopes up, only to have them come crashing back down. Upon waking up this morning, I am INCREDIBLY sore! I don't want to move, because every move I make hurts. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to have to function. I am also worried, because after all these false alarms, I'm beginning not to trust myself. I'm afraid that when it is the real thing, I will doubt myself, and we won't head for the hospital until it's too late. I really don't want to go back to the hospital unless my water breaks, or I have bloody show (Bloody show is caused by veins rupturing as the cervix dilates). But, only about 10% of women have their water break before they are in active labor, and not all women have bloody show either. In that regard, it doesn't seem entirely safe to wait for those. But on the other hand, I really don't think I can take another disappointment like this. Every time, it is harder to bear.

In any case, if I make it to my 40 week appointment this coming Friday, I am going to schedule an induction for April 24th. Several reasons: I have been dilated since 36 weeks, and lost my mucus plug around the same time. The longer I'm dilated, the higher the chance of infection, and I DON'T want that. My OB had already suggested getting induced in that week, but left the decision up to me, and originally I said no. I wanted to wait until Lexi made up her mind to come on her own. Once I got home, I did some research on induction, on the pros and cons. It does come with some risks, but those risks are not as extreme as some people make them out to be. The risks of being dilated with no mucus plug for four weeks are about as bad. Once I had made up my mind that induction might actually be an option, I started to seriously think about whether I wanted it. I have been SO uncomfortable, and it seems to get worse every day. I imagine that by 40 1/2 weeks, I will be about ready to be done with this pregnancy no matter what! So, I had basically already made up my mind when one last consideration came into play. When we take our trip to Texas, we want to have Lexi baptized. When I talked to my priest, he said that the baptism needs to be at least 40 days after she's born. I counted backwards, and the latest she could be born to fit into that time frame would be April 24th....which ironically, is the same day my OB originally suggested. So, with all that in mind, I decided that if she isn't here by my 40 week appointment, I'm going to go ahead and schedule it. That would be Wednesday of next week. That means that, no matter what, in a week and 3 days, I will be having my baby. That really reassures me. It's like a promise that this won't last forever. I'm still hoping not to make it all the way to April 24th. One of the risks of induction is an increased chance of needing a c-section. I would really hate to have to get a c-section. But, no matter what happens, or how it happens, I know I will be nothing but glad once I've got my baby girl in my arms. Oh, one other consideration in favor of induction....I was born 10 days late, and weighed 10 lbs 3 ozs. I've read that in regards to birth weight, babies tend to take after their mothers. That means there's a good chance she's already at least 8 1/2 - 9 lbs. The longer she's in there, the heavier she'll get. I would SO hate to have to give birth to a 10 lb baby!!! When I was born, they had to use the salad tongs to get me out, and had that failed, my mom would probably have had a c-section. So gosh, I've got a risk of that no matter what, especially the longer she waits to come out!

So, I've got less than 1 1/2 weeks, tops. That gives me a little bit of comfort, as I stare with longing at the bassinet beside my bed. :)

Let the fun begin!

Well, as of today, I am officially full-term! In other words, it could be ANY TIME NOW! And I have a feeling it will be sooner, rather than later. She dropped sooner than what is considered "normal" and I lost my mucus plug sooner than "normal", and I've been cramping, feeling pressure in my pelvis, and having contractions for well over a week. Granted, the contractions have settled down a lot from how they started off, but I'm still having them. I had five days of good, hard contractions, which caused me to go running to the hospital several times, and effectively dilated me to 1 1/2 cms. However, last Monday they settled into something more like weak braxton hicks, which I get irregularly off and on throughout the day, and they haven't caused any more dilation since then. Still....they could come back at any time.

And so, we wait....I can't help but think constantly, "Will I need my OB appointment next week?" "Will I still be sitting here tomorrow, wondering when?" "Will I have a baby the next time I go to church?" And then I wonder, "What if she's late? What if I'm still sitting here three or four weeks from now, wondering when?" Every appointment or plan I have set at a future date, I wonder if Lexi is going to interfere with it, or be there for it. This is nerve wracking! But, I'm ready. We have all the stuff we need for her, the bags are packed and in the van, and everybody in the house is on high alert...just waiting...

What's On My Mind

I have officially reached the stage of weekly doctor's visits! I am at 35 weeks. I can't believe how close I am! Within 3-7 weeks, I should be holding my baby girl! It seems unreal. And then I look around my room, at the mountain of baby stuff that has yet to be organized, and I worry. I can't bring her home to this. I need to get it all organized and set up. But this is going to be SUCH a project!

I have been sick, too. I think it's just a cold, and it probably wouldn't be a very bad cold if I weren't pregnant. However, being pregnant just amplifies it! I've been beyond exhausted. And tomorrow is my busy day! Oh dear! But I will live. I won't overdo it.

Being this close to delivery day, I can't help but think about it all the time. Every day, I am watching for any signs of it getting closer. I read yesterday that this week, Lexi's lungs should be fully developed, and her immune system and liver should be starting to function. That's pretty exciting! Babies who are born at this stage usually do okay with minimal medical intervention, and have no lasting health issues. That means, even though she'd still be considered premature at this point, she would be developed enough to do fine. That is really awesome!

.....Now if I could just get over that nagging concern about how much labor is going to hurt!

Dropping

Where labor is concerned, I have gone from terrified, to complacent, to excited. Right now, I can hardly wait!  I wanna hold my baby!!! And she is getting ready too. I'm 90% certain that she has dropped. At first, I really wasn't sure. Several people mentioned that I seemed to be carrying lower. What was, before, a slight pressure in my pelvis, became a BIG pressure in my pelvis, which hurts all the way down into my thighs. I was honestly hoping that I hadn't dropped, because I was afraid that meant that labor was imminent, and I don't want her to be premature.

So, I did what I always do, and researched it. I googled "baby dropped at 34 weeks", and what I found was a lot of pregnancy messaging boards, where women with their first pregnancy were saying they were 34 weeks (some even less) and had dropped. In every thread I looked at, more experienced mothers were commenting on these posts telling the girls not to worry, and that it was normal. One woman said that with her first pregnancy, she dropped around 30 weeks, and still delivered around her due date. What I learned from reading those is that dropping is not really any indication of when labor will start. It normally happens much earlier with first pregnancies than with later ones, but even that is not always the case. And some babies will drop, then go back up, repeatedly. So, I'm not too worried about it anymore.

The more I've payed attention to my body, the more I'm convinced that she must have dropped. There are several signals that I wouldn't have put together before reading all those message boards. For one thing, a few days ago, I got my first hemroid. Ouch! This is, as I read, a sign of lots of pressure in that area. Also, I keep getting quick, stinging pains in my bladder. I originally thought that meant I had a bladder infection, and was going to bring it up at my next appointment, but when I read the boards, almost every girl sighted that same symptom. I'm still going to mention it to my nurse, but they're going to test my urine anyway. The feeling of pressure in my pelvis has also been strengthening and spreading. Originally, I figured it was just because my body isn't used to all this weight, and hormones are making all my joints relax. That may well have something to do with it. But I read that when the baby drops, it creates a lot of pressure down there, and can be extremely uncomfortable, which it is getting to be. I currently have a constant ache that spreads across my pelvis, and into my thighs, and hurts especially right at the crease of my legs. Another symptom I wouldn't have paid much attention to is back pain. I've had back pain from very early in my pregnancy, but within the last few days, it's gotten worse. I again, assumed that was due to added weight that my body isn't used to. But I read that when the baby drops, it can increase the pressure on the lower back. At first, I couldn't tell much difference with my breathing. I still felt as out of breath as ever. But, over the past 48 hours, I have slowly begun to notice that I CAN, in fact, take a fuller breath. I've also noticed, just today, that when Lexi kicks, it feels a tad bit lower than it was before. She isn't getting into my ribs like she was before. The only symptom I haven't gotten that is related to dropping is a decrease in heart burn....go figure, one of the pleasant symptoms, and I'm not getting it. If anything, my heartburn is getting worse. But, I saw some people say that their heartburn got worse after the baby dropped. I'm not sure why that is, as you would think it is decreasing the pressure up there, but oh well.

Although, on one hand, it makes me slightly nervous that she might already have dropped, on the other hand, I'm super excited. I've likened it to a race. She is now positioned at the starting line, and is waiting to start her engine. I guess I'll say her engine has started whenever I lose my mucus plug (lovely term). I kind of can't believe I am this close to the end of my pregnancy. It seems to have flown by so quickly! But I can't wait to meet my little girl. Now if I could just get the room in a decent state to welcome her home! ACK!!!

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel

I have had an exciting weekend! On Thursday, Russ and I bought a van. It's a white, '03 Dodge Caravan, and it is going to be just perfect for our family! I used to have fantasies of one day having a big enough family to justify a van, and now I do! It only recently really dawned on me that we are about to be a family of four! It seems a little bit surreal. It's what I've always wanted, and always feared I'd never have.

Friday, I had a doctor's appointment, then ran a thousand errands, which resulted in us being out and about all day long. That was a bit exhausting. But the appointment went well! For the first time since I've started going to the doctor, I did not have any new questions to ask. I will have another appointment in two weeks, and after that we will start weekly appointments. My nurse said that once we start the weekly appointments, they will start checking my dilation. That was exciting and scary at the same time! I can't believe I'm that close to the end of this! A part of me is getting antsy to see and hold my baby girl, but a part of me is still really enjoying being pregnant, and doesn't want it to end. However, I can tell that Lexi is getting ready to be born, because my pubic bone, just above her exit tunnel, feels really sore and bruised. I figure that's because her head is probably resting near there, pressing down on it all the time. At least I know she's facing the right way!

Today, we got to go to church. I really love getting to see everybody! Unfortunately, we had to rush away after the service, because Russ had to get to work on time. But that's okay. Once we got home, and he left for work, I took a nice long shower, then got into some pajamas, so I feel fresh and comfy. I am trying to relax all evening, so that I will be ready for tomorrow!

Tomorrow is my baby shower! I am beyond excited for this! Somehow, even once I knew I was pregnant, it never crossed my mind that I might get a baby shower. Not until my friend, Brittany, said she wanted to host one for me. Even at that point, it didn't feel completely real that I might actually get one. But plans were made, and put in place, and tomorrow is the day! The ladies at the church we go to have done almost all of the planning, allowing me to sit back and anticipate! The plans that I know of are, we are going to decorate onesies and t-shirts for the baby, there is going to be plenty of food, and there will be petit fours (small cakes). I'm sure there will be plenty of other surprises lined up for me, and I can't WAIT to see it all!

There is more excitement coming! On Monday evening, we will be going to an induction ceremony for Russ into an honor society (the name of which I can't remember). I am so excited for him! I married a very smart man! Also on Monday, if I remember, I am going to call and make an appointment to get on WIC. I've been meaning to do that for months! I also need to call and register with ViaCord, to bank Lexi's cord blood.

I am less than 7 weeks from my due date. As a matter of fact, I have 48 days. I read that new mom's tend to go past their due date, so I might have longer than that, but either way, it's getting really close! I can't wait, and at the same time, I'm terrified. But I'm trying to let the "I can't wait" side of me win. There's no use going into labor still terrified of it, right?

Latest updates

Okay, biggest news first: I had my three hour glucose test, and I PASSED!!! Woohoo!!! It was a pretty miserable day anyway, because the glucose drink was SO sugary, and drinking that on an empty stomach really did a number on me! I got slightly queasy, and really dizzy, and for a little while I felt like I was going to pass out. I had to lay down for most of the time I was at the doctor. However, we got the good news that I was not diabetic, then Russ took me out for lunch, and I pigged out because I was STARVING! After eating, I felt much better! Lexi was on overdrive the rest of the day, and the following day she was really quiet, so I guess she had her first sugar crash.

I've mostly gotten my hospital bag packed. I wanted to do it good and early, so that I'd have over two months to think of anything I might have forgotten. The only things I'm waiting to pack is snacks for those who go to the hospital with me, my camera, and my baby book. My camera I will probably pack sometime around the beginning of April. Same goes for snacks, which will probably be trail mix, or granola bars....just something so people don't need to worry about paying for the vending machine, unless they really want to. The baby book I will pack after my baby shower, which is coming up soon! Then, on our way out the door, I just need to remember to grab my pillow and my phone charger. Russ will bring me my laptop after the first time he comes home to take care of Rusty. My only other concern is school. Whatever class I start after the one I'm in, I will need to warn the teacher that I might go into labor, and have to turn some things in late. I'm sure it won't be a problem, but it makes me nervous to realize it's that soon!

Speaking of my baby shower, I am really excited about that! There are some solid plans now. My friend, Brittany, is hosting it at her house. It'll be on March 3rd, at 3. Which, ironically, is when I originally wanted to have my wedding, but we couldn't because of lent. The women of the church we go to here are taking care of all the details, so I don't have to worry about a thing! It's going to be so much fun! My very own baby shower! Wow!

Our plans for visiting Texas are a little bit more solidified now. We still don't know exactly when, or for how long we will be there, but we have narrowed it down to a month. We want to go sometime in July. That gives us four months from now to start saving money for the trip. We have some plans in place to save what we need. We're talking about the trip being anywhere from four days to a week. We'll see what we can afford, as the time gets closer. I know for a fact that we want to visit my family, Russ's dad and Brenda, as many of my grandparents, aunts and uncles as we can, and Moonie and Kourtney. As for fine tuning all the arrangements, that has yet to be done. We'll get there, though!

Feel the Burn!

My stomach acid has become my mortal enemy! I started experiencing heartburn pretty early on. Originally, I was handling it purely with tums. Eventually, I was eating so many tums, I worried whether that was safe. That was when I began taking Prilosec. Prilosec worked pretty well for several months. However, as my uterus has begun to move up, and put more pressure on my stomach, the acid began to overpower the Prilosec. At an appointment, I brought this up to my nurse practitioner, and she suggested I try Zantac, as she had known some women to have more success with that. So, I got some Zantac and began taking that. However, the stomach acid overpowered the Zantac so easily that I could hardly tell I was taking anything at all. I would take a Zantac in the morning, and spend the rest of the day munching on tums anyway. What's worst is that I could not lay on my right side in bed at all. If I layed on my right side, I felt like I was breathing fire. The heartburn would get SO bad. And unfortunately, I just am not as comfortable sleeping on my left side. For a few weeks, I was pretty miserable, and unable to really get any sleep. Then, my sister-in-law, who recently had her daughter, gave me what was left of some prescription heartburn meds she'd had to take while pregnant. It's called Nexium. Taking that seemed to work a miracle! Suddenly, I could sleep on my right side again, and I could get through most of my day without having to take tums. I do still need to take them around dinner time. So, at my next appointment, I told my nurse practitioner about the Nexium, and that it's the only thing that's seemed to help. She said that since I have tried three things, and not had much success she would TRY to write me a prescription for some heartburn relief.  The reason she said "TRY" is because I am on medicaid, and medicaid does not want to pay for heartburn meds. She sent the prescription out, and told me that she did not know how long it would take for medicaid to either give in and approve it, or not. So far as I know, they have not yet approved it. I am waiting as patiently as I can, while watching the Nexium my sister-in-law gave me slowly dwindle away. I am just praying that medicaid will approve my prescription before I run out. Honestly, I am scared that they won't, and that before long, I will go back to being miserable. But if that's the case, I can at least take comfort in the fact that I am nearing the end of this journey.

The medicaid fiasco is not the only bad news I got on that Monday. I had my glucose test that day, and I failed it. I was only over by six points, so I'm hoping it was a fluke. However, because I failed the one hour test, they had to schedule me a three hour test. Now, for the one hour test, what they did was tell me to eat something plain for breakfast that morning, and drink nothing but water. When I went in for the test, they drew my blood, then gave me the glucose drink. It was like orange syrup. After drinking that, I had to wait for an hour, then go back and have my finger pricked. They checked my iron and glucose levels with that. The three hour test is a little stricter. I will not be allowed to eat anything at all after midnight the night before. I will not be allowed anything to drink later than two hours before the test starts. When I go in, they will draw my blood again, then give me another glucose drink, which I'm told will be twice as strong as the last one I drank. After that, for the next three hours, I will have my finger pricked once an hour, to test my glucose levels. I can't eat until the test is over. And WHAT I can eat will depend entirely on the results of the test. If I fail it, I will be diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and I will have to start watching out for sugar and starch and carbs. If I have to....well, then I have to. But I know that it will be rather difficult for me to change my diet so drastically, especially when I'm hungry ALL THE TIME! So I am praying that the first test was a fluke, and I will pass the second one and not have to worry.

Some happier news: I have officially reached the stage of pregnancy where you're supposed to do daily kick counts. What that means is, you're supposed to pick a time during the day to count how often your baby kicks you. The goal is to feel ten kicks within a two hour period. If you don't, you're supposed to call your doctor. Well, since I have started, it has not taken me longer than thirty minutes to feel ten kicks. The quickest I got to ten was fifteen minutes. So, I guess I have a hyperactive, but healthy baby.

I have also now taken all the classes I had signed up for. All of them were fun, and I did learn some things. I think my favorite class was the first one, Preparation for Childbirth. The Sibling class, for Rusty, was also really fun. Rusty actually paid attention and when we got home, wanted to practice changing diapers on a doll I have. Since taking that class, he has seemed a lot more excited about being a big brother. I am thrilled. I know he is going to be such a great brother! Lexi will be lucky to have him!

The only other thing that is of interest that is going on right now, is that me and Russ are very close to being able to get a vehicle of our own. We just filed our taxes a couple nights ago, and once we get our return, we will be using that to make a down payment. We started off looking for cross-over vehicles, but those are in high demand right now, so they're expensive. Now we've been looking at SUV's. We think we've found one we like, which is at a dealership near here. It's a Ford Escape. It looks to be in pretty good condition, and it's roomy enough for the four of us, plus one more. With the deposit we will be able to make, we should be able to get monthly payments we can afford. Plus, it has decent gas mileage. Now, having a vehicle will be the first step toward some very tentative plans we've been making. We have been talking about taking a trip to Texas, to visit everybody, when Lexi is 3-4 months old. We want to have her baptized there, if we can go. We'd probably drive up on a Friday, and drive back on a Monday. That gives us a span of two days to see everybody. Those are going to be a BUSY two days! I honestly don't know if we'll be able to see everybody we want to. I've been trying to work out, in my head, how to organize all the visits we'll need to make, without taking too much time away from any of them. The most important visits, obviously, will be to my family and to Russ' Dad and Brenda. If we're having Lexi baptized at my parents church, then it just makes sense that my family will get Sunday. Then it's just a matter of seeing everybody else in between. We will figure it out, though, and we'll let everybody know if / when we'll be able to see them.

Third Trimester!!!

So, here we are, in the third trimester! It seems really hard to believe. My belly is growing more every day, and I am feeling Lexi move more and more. Now I can very clearly tell the difference between a kick and a roll. And one day, I was even able to feel what was either an elbow or a knee or a heel through my belly. Every once in a while, I can tell she has the hiccups, but they never seem to last long. It is so much fun to feel all this stuff! I can now tell you that her most active times of day are from around 8am to noon, and from about 11pm until sometime after I fall asleep. Odds are, she'll keep that schedule up until after she's born, which is just GREAT news for my sleep! (Sarcasm) But, it'll be okay. I will adjust.

It is harder and harder for me to move around. I get short of breath easily, and if I curl my legs up too far, or bend down too far, the pressure on my tummy forces stomach acid into my throat...pleasant. I can't really cross my legs any more. Some other third trimester symptoms I've already got would include the never ending back ache, occasional leg cramps that aren't too severe yet, heart burn like crazy, peeing like crazy, and a returning lack of energy.

A couple days ago, I got stitches for the first time in my life. I had grown what was either a mole, or a third nipple. My OB called it a third nipple, because it grew along the mammary gland. It was really just a small pink mole, with a divit in the center of it. In any case, it had grown right where the wire of my bra sits, and that was causing it to be quite uncomfortable. My OB said that sometimes after pregnancy, things like that will go away on their own, but since it was causing me pain, she made me an appointment to have it removed. It was a fairly simple process. They numbed up the area, cut the mole thingy off, and put in three stitches. I go back on the 28th to have them removed. The stitches have caused me a little discomfort, mainly because there is no way to keep my boob from resting on them. I am also a little worried about all the sweat in that area, which I cannot avoid. Occasionally, I've been holding my boob up with my hand for a minute or two, to let that area air out. I know that sounds weird, but it's what I've had to do. They are itching really bad, which I guess is a sign they're healing. Can't wait for them to be gone, so I don't have to worry about pain in that area any more. That was the whole point of having the mole thingy removed.

Some things I have been thinking about, in regards to my upcoming labor: I don't know if I'll be able to have an epidural or not. I am highly, highly sensitive to opiates....like, half a dose of morphine would KILL me....and I don't know what's in an epidural. Nobody seems able to tell me. I have asked my nurse practitioner, and I asked the lady who taught the childbirth preparation class Russ and I took. My nurse had absolutely no idea. The teacher said I more than likely could get one, but said I should ask my OB. I also asked a nurse at the hospital where my sister-in-law gave birth (not the hospital I'll be at), and she said they would absolutely not give me an epidural if I went there. So I have an appointment with my OB in early February. I am going to ask her and hope she can give me an answer. If she says I can get one, then I probably will. My plan is to play it by ear, and see if I can handle the contractions or not. However, I know that the contractions progressively get worse, until you are fully dilated. I am a wimp about pain, so odds are I'll be getting one if I can. If I can't....well, that will be all kinds of fun, since I can't have morphine or any other narcotics either.

I am not planned on making an official "birth plan". That seems a bit overboard to me. After all, you can't control how your labor goes. But the one thing that I would really, really like, is to have them put Lexi on my chest as SOON as possible after she's born. I want to try to breastfeed right away, because I have read over and over and over, and heard from several different sources, that within the first hour is the BEST time to start breastfeeding. I know I could probably establish good breastfeeding even if I can't do that, but I would really like to. I asked at the class, and the teacher said that if I have a healthy delivery, without complications, then they will put her on my chest all slimy if I want them to. If I don't want her slimy, they will wash her off first, and that shouldn't take very long at all. I'm thinking I might want her slimy though, partly because I'll be impatient.

Also, relating to breastfeeding, I have read over and over, and heard from several sources, that in order to establish a good breastfeeding relationship, you should not use pacifiers or introduce bottles for at least the first month. I intend to try that. Everybody I've talked to has seemed doubtful if I will be able to do that. They have told me that some babies NEED to have something to suck on in order to sooth themselves, even when they're not hungry. And that may be true. But so many sources say that you should avoid it for the first month, and I wouldn't want to do anything that would be detrimental to breastfeeding. It can cause nipple confusion, which could result in the baby rejecting the breast all together, because it is easier to suck on a bottle or pacifier. I know that countless women have successfully held off the pacifier and bottle for a month or longer. One of my best friends has two boys, one is almost two, and the other is about 7 months, and neither of them has ever had a pacifier, to my knowledge. Me and my two younger brothers didn't even WANT the pacifier when we were babies. Our mom had to dip it in peanut butter or honey to get us to take it for any length of time. So I KNOW that not all babies HAVE to have the pacifier at all, and I'm hoping Lexi is one who doesn't want it. But even aside from that....if you never give them a pacifier, how can they miss it? You can't miss what you've never had, right? I figure, if she needs to suck on something to self-sooth, she can suck on her thumb, or her fist, or I can give her some toys that are safe to put in her mouth. I really feel determined that a pacifier and bottles will not be necessary for the first month. I only wish I felt like I had a little more support on that, instead of everybody telling me it's practically impossible.

The only other thing I've been debating, oddly enough, is music. I have heard that if I were to bring a CD with me to the hospital, they could play it while I'm in labor. The idea is that you pick music that will relax and sooth you, and it will help you get through your labor more easily. That sounds like a cool idea. The problem is, I don't have very much music. I have a total of six CD's. Three of them, I just recently got for Christmas, and while they are cool music, they wouldn't really be very relaxing. I am not very familiar with those CD's yet, so it would be harder to focus on them. One of the CD's I have is my wedding music CD. That CD already has special attachment to it, and there are a couple songs on there that make me cry, so that's probably not the best idea. Of the other two CD's, one I'm not too familiar with, and the other I absolutely love, love, LOVE! It would totally be relaxing to me, and I would enjoy putting a special attachment to that CD. So the problem? Well, I am the ONLY one who likes that CD. Russ can barely stand it, and Mom and Pop don't care for it much either. Since all of them will be there, and since this is Russ' baby too, I would almost feel guilty forcing them all to listen to it for however long until she is born. So then I am thinking, "Well fine. Maybe I should just forget about playing music all together. Who needs it? I'll have so much else going on, I probably wouldn't even hear it anyway." And that's probably the way it'll end up going. But, I have thought about trying to find some music I really enjoy that WOULDN'T drive everybody else crazy, and seeing if I can get somebody to burn me a CD. I also wonder if they have any kind of satellite radio, or one of those cable stations that plays music. If they do, I could have them put that on some jazz or something like that. That would be relaxing to me. So, I don't know.

Well, it's getting late, so I think I am off to bed. Night all!

Another hospital visit

Wow! So, on the night of New Years Eve, I got really, really dizzy. It felt like all the walls and floors were moving in a wave, and I couldn't even stand up or crawl on my own, much less walk. I had to lean on Russ. I was a little bit scared at that point, but did not go to the hospital. Instead, I drank a glass of water, hoping it would help, and went to bed early. Sometime during the night, the dizziness subsided somewhat, enough that I could walk around with just the support of furniture. By morning, I was able to walk slowly on my own, and I was feeling a little nauseous, which I assumed was due to being dizzy for so long. However, since I was feeling so much better than the previous night, I felt encouraged that I was getting better. Russ needed to run to Walmart to pick up some things for dinner, and I decided that getting out of the house might be just what I needed.

Almost as soon as the car started moving, the dizziness started getting worse. I kept thinking "Okay, the car might not have been a good idea." The nausea was also getting a little worse, and I kept contemplating whether I should tell Russ to pull over, but I never did. The dizziness got worse and worse. I started seeing spots in front of my eyes. At some point, I realized I was going to faint. I told Russ that I was going to faint about one second before I did. He said that I was out for about a minute, and I was twitching. When I came to, I felt really confused. My head was hanging limply, and Russ was saying, "Hun? Hun? We're going to the hospital!" Before I could think or say anything, a wave of nausea so strong came over me, all I had time to do was clap my hand over my mouth before I threw up. Russ quickly rolled down my window, and told me to stick my head out of it if I needed to. I did. It was drizzling a little bit, and it was cold, but I didn't care. I threw up a lot more. The wind blew it all over my face, and it was all down the side of the car, and in the crack of the window. Russ said some of it even flew back into the window and hit him. When I finally stopped, and was able to look up to see where we were, we were already pulling into the hospital parking lot.

We went into the ER, and after getting me signed in, Russ took me to the bathroom and helped me wipe myself down with paper towels. When we got back out, he went to the desk and told the lady that I was 24 weeks pregnant. As soon as she heard that, she called somebody from maternity to come get me. They told me that after 20 weeks, pregnant women automatically go to maternity for all issues. I was relieved about that, because maternity is a lot nicer, and cleaner, and faster. When we got up to maternity, they got me into a room almost immediately, and a doctor was in to see me very quickly. He ordered some blood tests, and had me hooked up to all kinds of monitors. When they came in to draw my blood, they had a problem. It was easy to tell I was dehydrated, because they could not get my blood to flow. They had to poke me in four different places, and it HURT!!! Finally, they got the blood they needed, and hooked up an IV with a giant bag of saline. After the tests came back, they told me that I was also iron deficient. I was prescribed iron supplements and nausea pills, and told to drink a lot of fluids.

By the time we got back home that night, I was starving and exhausted. I had a small dinner and went straight to bed. The next day, I woke up feeling queasy. Russ went to get my prescriptions, and I tried to eat. I was feeling pretty yucky by the time Russ got back. I took a nausea pill and an iron supplement. Not long after lunch, I threw up once, but it was only a little bit. I also got diarrhea. Later that night, after dinner and another iron supplement, I got to go see my cousins, Jason and Ron, who I hadn't seen in over a year! Even though I still didn't feel too good, I was determined to see them, so I braved the car again for the first time since that episode. I made it to visit them just fine. We went to the Huddle House, and Russ asked if I wanted to order something. I really wasn't feeling hungry, but I ordered a strawberry shortcake, on the condition that Russ would help me eat it. We had a good time, and I enjoyed myself. I ate about half the strawberry shortcake. By the time we got in the car to go home, I was getting really nauseous again, but I managed to do okay for the car ride. Almost as soon as we got home, though, I hurried to the bathroom and threw up again. This time, I threw up quite a lot. I realized that it was probably the iron supplements making me nauseous, since I had been drinking plenty of water now.

The next day, after taking my iron supplement, I called my doctor and told her about everything that had happened, and about what the iron supplements were doing to me. She told me I could reduce my dose to twice a day, instead of three times a day, and that she will recheck my iron at my next appointment on Tuesday to see if she needs to alter my dose. She said, in the mean time, I could get Dramamine and take it at the same time as my nausea pills, and I could nibble on saltines or other mild foods when I am feeling nauseous. I have been doing what she said, and since then, I've felt much better. I've even gotten my never ending appetite back.

So, what else is new? Well, my belly has grown quite a lot over the last few weeks, and is now getting so big that it's really getting hard to move around very much. My back hurts constantly, and I have flexeril, but with all the other medication I'm on right now, I don't want to take it. I need back support in order to sit down for very long, and even then, I'm hurting. If I bend over too far, I get a pain in my belly, and I lose my breath. My feet are even starting to swell a little bit, but if I keep them up most of the time, they are okay. I get occasional growing pains, that go all the way up into my ribs. They feel like a gas bubble that doesn't go away for a long time.

But there's good news! After being here for seven months, and sleeping on an air mattress all that time, Russ and I FINALLY have a bed! We found it on Craigslist, and picked it up yesterday morning. Last night was the first time in a LONG time that I was able to sleep comfortably! The last air mattress we had was the worst, because for some reason, it developed a lump in the middle, so all night long, I would have to brace myself to stay in bed, and I slept on a hill. To finally sleep on a soft, flat, solid bed was like a taste of heaven! Had it not been for getting up about 20 times to pee, I probably would have slept very soundly.

I am so close to my third trimester! It's a little bit scary to be this close to the end. I have to admit, the prospect of labor still makes me shake in my boots. IT'S GOING TO HURT!!! But, I know that in the end, it will all be worth it. My next appointment is this coming Tuesday. And this is going to be a busy month. I have three classes to go to, and two appointments. I'm really looking forward to the classes. The first one is next Saturday. That's the preparation for childbirth class, so maybe after that, labor won't sound so scary. I'm also taking a breastfeeding class and Rusty is taking a siblings class. This promises to be a fun and exciting month....just as long as I keep drinking enough water!

What's new in the world of my womb

Well, here I am, at 24 weeks. It's New Years Eve. My belly is finally big enough that I feel like I look pregnant. I've been waiting for that, because I have wanted to be pregnant for so many years, and now that I am, I want everyone to know it!

My sister-in-law just gave birth to her little girl, and it has made me super eager to see my Lexi. I can't say that I'm looking forward to labor, but everything after that should be fun. Right now, I am most enjoying being able to see my belly jump when she kicks hard enough. She's beginning to reach my ribs every once in a while, but she doesn't kick hard enough for it to hurt yet. It just feels like a tickle-flutter in my lower rib cage. Usually, on the right, which is funny, because in my belly she's usually on the left.

Lately, I've been missing my mommy an extra lot. I can't even tell you how badly I wish she could be with me while I experience all this. I want her to be able to put her hand on my belly and feel her granddaughter kick. I want Lexi to hear her Nina's voice. I especially want my mom to be able to be at the hospital when I'm in labor...but there's just no way. It would take her 11 hours to drive here. Even if she WERE able to leave on the fly as soon as she found out I'm in labor, she would likely not make it here in time. I just know that it is going to be so difficult for me to go through that without my mommy by my side. I will have my mom-in-law, and she is also awesome, but I just don't think there is any replacement for the woman I grew up with. But, there is nothing I can do about this. I will survive, and I know I'll be seeing my mom not long after, because she is saving money to come up and meet her granddaughter. I am going to cry so hard when I finally see my mommy again! It's so hard not to be near her.

Well, anyway, I read this week that all of Lexi's senses are fully developed. She can hear, taste, touch...her eyes are fully developed, but still closed, and the iris has no pigment yet, and if she weren't in amniotic fluid, she would be able to smell. She's officially considered viable, so I guess according to the "pro-choice" crowd, she's finally alive. Well, she's been alive to me from the moment I saw that plus on my pregnancy test. Even more so, from the first time I saw her on ultra sound, and the first time I felt her fluttering around my belly. What's even cooler is that, if she were to be born today, she'd have almost a 50% chance of survival. That's pretty good, for somebody who's only a little more than half way through creating themselves!

Bigger Leaks and Kicks!

So, a week or so ago, I was sitting on my bed, reading facebook, and my arm brushed against my shirt. I was surprised, and wondered at first, what I had spilled on myself. Then it dawned on me. I had not spilled anything. I was leaking! Ever since then, I've been wearing nursing pads, but I have not leaked in that quantity again. Still, that was pretty amazing.

In other good news, I now have two bras that kinda fit. I'd bought one a while back, with room to grow into, and have now over-filled it. It was the only one I had that I could wear. So last week, I went back to the store I'd bought that one at to get another one. Unfortunately, they don't sell bras bigger than the one I'd already over filled, so I had to settle for another in the same size. Without going into too much info, let's just say they sell bigger bras than walmart, and leave it at that. But, at least I have two bras now, that I can wear.

Even better news: Russ was finally able to feel Lexi kick! He didn't realize it was a kick at first, because she's only JUST strong enough to be felt from the outside, and he said it felt more like a wave. But it was definitely a kick! It was really exciting that he was finally able to feel her!

It is so much fun to feel her moving. It brings a smile to my face every time. Well, except when she's kicking my bladder, lol. But it just feels like such a miracle. It's something I've waited so long for, and I couldn't be happier to finally be getting my dream!

Kicks and leaks

I have hit a couple new milestones in the last week. Now, I hope this first one isn't too much info, but my breasts have begun leaking just the tiniest little bit of liquid. It's not enough to stain my bra yet, or anything like that. It's such a small amount, I don't notice it until I get undressed at the end of the day, and I notice that it has dried onto my nipples, and I have to gently scratch it off. A couple of times, I have squeezed gently, just to see some of the liquid bead up, because it makes me feel really excited. I guess that's because, for the first time in my life, my breasts are actually functioning the way they were meant to. That is really exciting to me, and kind of awe inspiring. I've got to say, watching my body shift and change and grow in this way....well, it's all the proof I need that there's a God. It seems incredible to me that my entire body was DESIGNED for this! It just never ceases to amaze me.

Anyway, the second milestone occurred yesterday morning, as I was waiting for Rusty's bus. I was resting my hands on my belly, and Lexi kicked, and I felt it with my hands. It surprised me, and at the same time, made me feel really giddy. Of course, I couldn't go back to sleep after that. I wanted Russ to feel it, but he slept in, and by the time he woke up, she was not being active. We tried again today to get her to kick so he could feel it. He kept his hand on my belly for quite a while, but she was not moving for him. As soon as he'd pull his hand away, she'd start karate chopping me again, and I'd say, "Quick! Put your hand back!" And she'd stop. Go figure. He is being exceptionally patient though. Well, he doesn't really have a choice. :p But we both know that sooner or later, he will be able to feel her moving.

What I really can't wait for, is for her to be big enough and strong enough that we can feel all of her movements through my belly, so that I can let Rusty feel her moving. Rusty is quite eager to be able to interact with her. He puts his ear on my belly trying to hear her. I keep telling him, "You probably won't hear anything yet. But if you talk to my belly, she can hear you." So, for now, he is settling for telling my belly good morning and good night, and occasionally, giving my belly a kiss. He is going to be such a wonderful older brother!

IT'S A GIRL!

Today was my "20 week" appointment. Okay, technically, I'm only 19 weeks, but in two days I'll be 20, so they rounded up. First I had my ultra sound, which was, by far, the best part. I'M HAVING A GIRL!!! I'm SO SUPER excited about that! I've wanted a girl since LONG before I got pregnant. When my mom told me, she was done having kids, and all I had was two little brothers, I told her, "Well fine, I guess I'll just have to have a daughter then." Since getting pregnant, I've been afraid to hope too much for a girl, so I kept telling myself, "It's going to be a boy." to psych myself out, so that I wouldn't be disappointed. But ever since we told Rusty that I was pregnant, he has insisted that he is going to have a little sister. We told him several times, "We don't know yet. It could be a boy. The baby has to decide what it wants to be." His response, every time, was "Well....it's gonna be a girl." During the ultra sound, when she told me it is a girl, I started crying. It felt like winning the lottery. I'm still absorbing it. I'M GOING TO HAVE A DAUGHTER!!! I am definitely on cloud nine! Another cool part about the ultra sound was that as the technician looked at all the parts, and took all the measurements, she kept saying everything looked "beautiful" and "perfect". So we know that our daughter is physically healthy! My friend, Brittany, was able to be there too, and we had picked up Rusty early from school so he could be there, and of course Russ was there. It was awesome to have several important people there to watch, and to get the news with me!

After the ultra sound, I had a regular appointment. I finally got to meet my OBGYN, and I really like her. She's from Texas! She's about my age, and she's really nice. I liked her right away. I had several questions for her, and she answered all of them, and we had a fun conversation. I had to have a little bit of blood drawn, for a thyroid test. I've been battling with depression, and since I know that thyroid problems run in my family, we decided to check and see if that could be the cause of it.

January is going to be a VERY busy month. First, my next appointment is scheduled for Jan 7th. I also have a dermatology appointment scheduled for Jan 17. I also signed up for three of the free classes that are offered at the hospital, Preparation for Childbirth, on Jan 12, Breastfeeding Class on Jan 24, and a Sibling class for Rusty on Jan 29. Not to mention, my birthday is Jan 21st, and sometime that month, my sister-in-law is supposed to give birth. Should be a fun month!

The Latest and Greatest

My tummy feels so WEIRD! I'm not even sure I can accurately describe it. Sometimes it hurts a little bit, mostly on the sides. More often it's kind of a mild pressure, or fullness. What's weird is, every week, when I look at my pregnancy pictures, I swear my belly looks smaller. Russ keeps assuring me it's just moving up and rounding out, and I guess he's probably right. I just wish it would hurry up and grow! (I know, I'm being impatient.) But I guess it must be doing something, because my center of gravity is definitely changing. I keep losing my balance for no reason. Standing up, or getting out of the car, will totally throw my balance off, and I have to catch myself on something. It's even happened a few times when I was just walking.

I feel the baby moving a LOT now. Off and on throughout the day, I will know when it gets active. It's active right now. Some women describe that feeling like fluttering or bubbles. I don't think I ever would have called it that. At first, it felt like a muscle twitch. Lately, it's stronger than that. It feels like a sporadic heart beat that moves around my belly. Russ is eagerly anticipating the day it gets strong enough for him to feel. Every once in a while, when it's really active, I'll tell him and he'll put his hand on my belly to see if he can feel it yet. Nope, not yet.

My back pain has still been consistent. It's usually not so bad that I can't move around, but every once in a while, if I move wrong, I will have to use a cane for the rest of the day. I've learned to avoid bending at the waist and twisting. Those movements tend to set it off.

I am happy to say that, since the day I went to the hospital, I have not had any more Braxton Hicks contractions. I have been watching myself carefully, making sure I don't do too much in one day. That seems to be the key. There are some days, when I'm out running errands, that I get dizzy and a little bit breathless. Generally, if I sit down for 10 to 15 minutes, I'm okay. Some days, my body just says "You're not walking today." If I try it, I get a sharp, pulling pain on one side of my belly that hurts with every step. The only solution to that is....don't walk. But that doesn't seem to happen very often.

My next appointment and ultra sound are getting closer. Only a week and a half away! There was a scheduling conflict, because somebody else has something very important to do on that same day, only two and a half hours before my appointment time, and only one and a half hours before we need to leave the house, if we're going to pick up Rusty from school. Luckily, my friend Brittany saved the day. She will probably pick up me and Rusty in her car, and Russ will follow us on his motorcycle. It's the perfect solution, because it was either that, or I would have had to reschedule my appointments, and this doctor is usually booked WEEKS in advance. And with two appointments, one right after the other, it would have probably been another three weeks or more before I could get everything set up.

Speaking of the doctor, it looks like Obamacare is already changing some things. Now, I have to have TWO insurance plans. Medicaid will still cover some things, and this other insurance, called Magnolia, or something like that, will cover other things. Now, I have to make sure that my doctor is going to be taking this other insurance, or else I might have to switch doctors. It takes affect in 90 days. Wouldn't that be great news, half way through my pregnancy? But, I guess it is what it is. We'll see how that turns out.

Anyway, I guess that's everything important for now. And probably some stuff that isn't important too. :p

Body Changes

This might sound funny, but I pee differently than I used to. People used to marvel at how fast I could pee. When a friend went to the bathroom with me, she said that I "power peed". In other words, it came out like turning a faucet on full blast. Well, now that my uterus is smashing my bladder, and everything that goes along with it, I no longer "power pee". Now it trickles out so slowly. It comes out at a different angle than it used to. Last time the doctor asked me to pee in the cup, I peed all over my hand, because I was holding the cup where the pee would have gone in the past, but now it goes an entirely different direction. This is not so much a complaint, as just an observation that I find interesting. I would not have thought, before, that pregnancy would change the way I pee. But it makes sense, doesn't it?

Another cool thing! The last post I made, I was frustrated with how slowly everything is progressing. Well, my belly still hasn't really grown, BUT I have begun to feel the baby a lot more frequently. The day after that post, I felt it three times, which was more than I'd ever felt it in one day. Over the last couple days, it's become more and more frequent. Today, I kept feeling it all morning long! I even gently poked it, and I guess it swam away, because I didn't feel it for a little while after that. But, every once in a while, as I'm going about my business, I will feel a little fluttery feeling, and get a big, goofy grin. THAT'S MY BABY! :D

Getting Impatient

Okay. I'm not really complaining, but....my belly doesn't seem to have grown at all in three weeks. In fact, if it's possible, it seems to have gotten a little bit smaller. That could just be because it's moving up out of my pelvis, and found more room to move back into. I don't know. I am still feeling baby movements, once or twice a day, as little butterfly motions in my stomach. The thing is....I WANT MORE! I want my belly to grow some more, I want the movements to get stronger! I know that will happen eventually, but I want it NOW!

When people keep asking me, "How's the baby?" I don't know what to say. I usually end up saying, "Well...still in there." How should I know how it is? All I know is I feel it move every once in a while, and my belly's not getting any bigger. I assume the baby is perfectly fine. At least, I sure hope it is.

I know, I know...everybody has told me this would happen. They all said, "It's going to seem like your belly stays the same forever, and then one day you will wake up, and it'll be like it just grew overnight." Well, I'm ready for it. Now GROW! Every day, I am sure I can feel my belly stretching. I have been getting round ligament pains every time I roll over in bed, and every time I stand up too fast, and even when I just laugh too hard. My belly often feels tight, even pressure. So, that definitely means something will happen soon.....right?

I also can't wait to find out the gender. I'm still so excited to have that ultra sound scheduled, but it seems like it's going to take forever to get here! I still have most of a month to wait! I just wanna KNOW already!

I am really trying my hardest to be patient. I keep telling myself that I've got another 5 months, at least, and that's plenty of time for me and Baby to grow. In the mean time, I am trying really hard not to pinch my sciatic nerve anymore...because that hurts. Sometimes, when I roll over or twist wrong, I can feel a warning twinge...like my back is saying, "Hey, keep it up and I'll cripple you!" Twice, I have already found myself hobbling around on a cane. Even when my sciatic nerve is not involved, my back just aches. I've been prescribed flexeril for my back ache, but I don't want to become dependent on it, so I only allow myself to take it every other day. So, on my "no flexeril" days, I just take extra strength Tylenol...which does nothing...and suffer through it. On my "flexeril" days, if I feel like I can go without it, I do. I only take it if my back is REALLY bothering me. Which it is, today, but unfortunately, this is a "no flexeril" day.

I'm still drinking all my water. I am proud of myself for keeping up my water intake. I've never drunk this much water in my life. At first, it was really hard to force myself to drink this much, and I felt like I was trying to drown myself. By now, if I wait too long to have my next glass of water, I actually get thirsty! Wow! My body actually likes this! Who knew?

So, anyway...yeah...that's it. Nothing much to report. I am achy, I am keeping myself as healthy as I can, and I am getting very impatient.

Hospital visit

First of all, Halloween was a great day! While Rusty was in school, I spent the morning with a good friend. We spent a good deal of time window shopping in several stores, then went back to her house for lunch, and watched the first episode of Dr Who. She got me back home before Rusty's bus.

After Rusty got home, I gave him his snack, helped him paint a pumpkin, and shortly afterward, got ready to take him to the zoo for trick-or-treating. It was just me and Rusty, at the zoo, because Russ had to work. The majority of the time we were there was spent waiting in lines. There were a LOT of people there! They had about 16 games set up that we stood in line to play. After Rusty played the games, they would give him candy or small toys. By the time we got through the game area, I was feeling pretty exhausted. That was when Rusty announced that he needed to go to the bathroom. Of course, we were on the opposite side of the zoo from the ONLY bathrooms they had. So we walked all the way across the zoo, then all the way back. While we were en route back from the bathroom, I stopped at a concession stand and bought Rusty some cotton candy, and me some trail mix. Then, Rusty got in a bouncy house. There was a bench set up by the bouncy house, which was intended for parents to sit down on, but instead, it was crowded with a bunch of teen agers. I didn't feel like trying to butt into their crowd, so I sat on the ground a short distance away. I was so tired, and my feet were killing me. I let Rusty jump around for at least 30 minutes, then got him out so we could go find the "Spooky Train". We stood in line for the train for about 30 - 45 minutes. There was another bench at the front of the line, and when we reached it, some old lady had a stroller parked in front of it, blocking up enough space for about three people to sit. I NEEDED to sit down, so I kindly asked her if she could make some room for me to sit. She scooted the stroller a fraction, so I squeezed in anyway, and Rusty sat in my lap. It was a relief when the train came back around, and me and Rusty lumbered our way onto it and got in our seat. That was at least a 15 minute ride, and the whole time, I was thankful to be sitting. By then, I had developed a stitch in my side, and I was panting a lot as we walked. But I was still having a lot of fun. After the train ride ended, I insisted to Rusty that it was time to go. I knew I couldn't handle much more walking around. We made the rather long trek back to the parking lot, and at long last, I collapsed into the car. Rusty was still FULL of energy, and bouncing around. For dinner, I got him a happy meal from McDonalds, and once he'd finished eating that, I quickly got him to bed. The sugar worked in my favor, because when he laid down he was practically vibrating, but shortly afterward came the famous "sugar crash" and within ten minutes he was out cold.

The next day, when I woke up, I felt fine....for a little while. Around noon, I started getting bad cramps. They were radiating up the sides of my belly, and down into the rectum area, and they were so bad that it was hard to breath, and I couldn't move. They came in waves, it was not a constant pain, and I quickly discovered that they were less frequent and less intense if I wasn't moving or walking around. At first, I thought I was constipated, because sometimes that will give me sharp pains, but after going #2 twice, I was still getting the cramps just as bad. Everybody was starting to get a bit worried. Around 2:15, Russ called his boss to let him know he was not going to come in to work, because he was taking his wife to the emergency room. At that point, I hadn't actually made up my mind to go yet, but Russ wanted to be there, just in case. Rusty got home around 3:30, and I was still getting cramps. Finally, I called my nurse practitioner, and asked her if I should go to the hospital. She said it sounded like I was having round ligament pains, but they shouldn't be that severe, so she suggested I go ahead, just to make sure everything was okay.

We arrived at the hospital around 4pm. We had Rusty with us. We sat in the first waiting room a deceptively short time. When we walked in, I had marveled at how few people there were, and thought they weren't that busy. After about a 15 minute wait, they took me into triage. When they were done with triage, they sent me to a DIFFERENT waiting room, and this one was packed! We sat in there for a little over two and a half hours. It was almost 7 when I finally got a room. At this point, having sat still for quite a while, the cramps were becoming pretty mild and bearable, but I was still worried about my baby.

Once we were in our room, we waited some more. At first it seemed like maybe things would be happening more quickly now. Pretty soon, a lady came in to get my ID and insurance information. Shortly afterward, a nurse came in, took my vitals, and asked some questions about the cramping. Not too long after that, another nurse came in and took some blood, and left an IV thing in my arm. Rusty felt very sorry for me, for having to get poked. Around 7:30, the doctor came in and let me know that he was going to schedule an ultra sound, but we would have to wait until the results of the blood work came back from the lab. I was also informed then, that for the ultra sound, I would have to have a catheter. I was a little bit less than thrilled about that, but complied. Just before 8, a nurse came in to put in my catheter.

Shortly after the nurse left, Rusty, who had been more and more restless the whole time, started crying. Since it was almost his bedtime anyway, Russ took Rusty home. He got Rusty some dinner, put him to bed, and turned in a school project, before coming back. While he was gone, I did....nothing. I was very uncomfortable. I had a catheter in, it hurt to bend my arm, my butt was going numb from being sat on for so long, and I couldn't easily adjust myself. A nurse came in to check on me every 30 minutes or so, and assured me that it wouldn't be much longer. At some point while I was waiting, I felt the baby moving. That was very reassuring. Russ got back to the hospital by 9:30. It was almost 10 before somebody finally came to take me to my ultra sound.

They wheeled me into the ultra sound room. Russ was not allowed to go with me. When we got there, they rolled me into a room a little bigger than a broom closet. And then, I waited about 20 minutes for something to happen. I could hear the technician in another room, rummaging around or something, but it took a long time for him to come in to give me my ultra sound. I was not allowed to see the ultra sound. When I asked why, he said it was a policy. My best guess is that if something actually had been wrong, they wouldn't want me panicking. So, I asked him if he could at least tell me if it was moving. After several minutes, he told me that it looked like it had the hick ups, and that it was bouncing all over the place. He took lots and lots of pictures that I didn't get to see. Meanwhile, I studied the ceiling. I wondered if anybody had ever noticed that one of the ceiling tiles was placed the wrong direction. It bothered my OCD. When he'd finished, he wiped of his ultra sound tool, and started to leave the room. I was still lying on my back with jelly all over my tummy. I said, "Umm....could I get a towel?" He said, "Oh, of course", and grabbed one from a shelf on the wall. I wiped my own stomach off, and by the time I'd finished, he was gone. I was still lying on my back, which I know I'm not supposed to do in the second trimester. So, I managed to roll myself onto my side, and layed there waiting. About 10 minutes passed before somebody came to get me. I asked them to sit me up, and they did.

By the time I got back to the room, it was a little after 10. A nurse came in to check on me, and to let me know that they couldn't take the catheter out until the doctor had a chance to look at all the ultra sound pictures, just in case he needed another angle or something, and they had to send me back. So....we waited. For about another hour and a half, I just sat there with the catheter making me uncomfortable, whining to Russ that I wanted it out, and wanted to go home. I was tired, I was hungry, I hadn't felt any cramping in hours, and I felt stupid for being there.

Finally, after 11:30, they came to take the catheter out, and let me know that I would soon be discharged. Yay! A while later, the doctor came in, and discussed the results with me. He said the baby looked fine, I looked fine, and he figured the cramping was probably Braxton Hicks contractions. He said they were probably triggered because I over-exerted myself on Halloween. He essentially put me on bed-rest today. I am allowed to be a little more active tomorrow, but I need to take it easy. Then, I should be fine, as long as I don't over do it again. At long last, a nurse came to take out the IV thing that they never used, and I signed my release paperwork. We left the hospital around midnight. We went by Wendy's so that I could eat something, came home, and went straight to bed.

I did call my OBGYN today, to see if they wanted to schedule a follow up appointment. They told me that unless I have more problems before my next scheduled appointment, I should be okay. So, as of right now, I will be looked at again in about 3 1/2 weeks. For the time being, I am just glad to know that everything is okay, and extra glad to be out of the hospital!