Last Friday I had my 39 week appointment, and it went well. It was even kind of exciting. She said I was about 2 cms dilated, and 70-80% effaced. I felt fantastic, because I was actually making progress! I'd kind of hoped to have her before 39 weeks, but at least something was happening. Now I'm hoping to have her before 40 weeks.
On Saturday morning, as we were in church, I began having contractions. They were nothing unusual. About the same as what I'd been having before. I squeezed Russ' hand and breathed through them. I scared a few people, who thought I might have Lexi right there in church. If only those people had seen me for the last four weeks!!! Anyway, after church we went home, and I tried to relax. I kept having contractions, and although the timing was irregular, they were getting increasingly stronger. I was having more and more trouble breathing through them. Russ called in to work, because we weren't sure if this was the real thing or not. As the intensity of the contractions increased, we both started to think it could be. I tried several of the techniques that are supposed to help ease false labor, such as taking a walk, and having some hot tea, and changing positions a lot. None of it helped, and walking actually made them more frequent for a little while. I still was not sure if we should go to the hospital, because of the irregularity of the timing, and because my water hadn't broken, and there was no bloody show, and my belly wasn't getting as hard as the doctors say it should. But, Russ and everybody else kept asking me if I was ready to go, and saying they thought I should. By almost 7 pm, I decided to just go. The timing had gotten slightly more regular, and the contractions were some of the strongest I have ever felt.
Even as we were on the way to the hospital, I became more and more convinced that I must be in labor. I was just in so much pain! When we got there, they checked my dilation first, and said it was not quite 2 cms. That was the first discouraging part. Then they hooked up the monitors and let me sit there for a few hours. I don't know if the monitor was broken, or what. Every time I had a contraction, and was in so much pain, the line that's supposed to show the contractions actually dropped, instead of going up. So, when I wasn't having a contraction, according to the monitor, it looked like I was, and when I was, it looked like I wasn't. I was frustrated by that, because I felt like the doctors weren't getting an accurate idea of what was happening. The nurse came and checked on me several times, and I did tell her about the monitor. She simply readjusted it, and it kept doing the same thing. A couple hours after getting there, the contractions actually did start to recede. They were still coming pretty close together, but the intensity was lessening. As more time passed, they became more and more irregular again, and at that point, I already knew what they were going to tell me.
When the doctor came in to check my dilation, he shook his head and said, "She is being stubborn." He said there had been no change in my dilation since i got there. He also said that my nurse, on Friday morning, had put down that I was 80% effaced, but he thought that was generous. He would have gone with 60-70%. I felt so completely defeated. I felt like I had lost progress, rather than made any. The doctor did try to reassure me. He said, when he checks a cervix, he's checking for five things. He's checking that the cervix has moved from the back to the front, which mine has. He's checking to see if it's softened, and mine is 100% soft. He's checking to see if the baby is pressing down on it, and mine is. He's checking for effacement, and I'm about 70%. And of course, he's checking for dilation, which I hardly have any of. He told me that I've got 3 out of 5, and that's great, and I'm more than half way done effacing. He said there's no way to give an estimate of how long effacement will take, but he expects to see me again soon. Then he gave me some Tylenol 3 for pain and some Ambien to help me sleep, and sent me home.
Russ and I are both frustrated. I feel guilty because Russ missed work for another false alarm. I feel depressed, because I got my hopes up, only to have them come crashing back down. Upon waking up this morning, I am INCREDIBLY sore! I don't want to move, because every move I make hurts. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to have to function. I am also worried, because after all these false alarms, I'm beginning not to trust myself. I'm afraid that when it is the real thing, I will doubt myself, and we won't head for the hospital until it's too late. I really don't want to go back to the hospital unless my water breaks, or I have bloody show (Bloody show is caused by veins rupturing as the cervix dilates). But, only about 10% of women have their water break before they are in active labor, and not all women have bloody show either. In that regard, it doesn't seem entirely safe to wait for those. But on the other hand, I really don't think I can take another disappointment like this. Every time, it is harder to bear.
In any case, if I make it to my 40 week appointment this coming Friday, I am going to schedule an induction for April 24th. Several reasons: I have been dilated since 36 weeks, and lost my mucus plug around the same time. The longer I'm dilated, the higher the chance of infection, and I DON'T want that. My OB had already suggested getting induced in that week, but left the decision up to me, and originally I said no. I wanted to wait until Lexi made up her mind to come on her own. Once I got home, I did some research on induction, on the pros and cons. It does come with some risks, but those risks are not as extreme as some people make them out to be. The risks of being dilated with no mucus plug for four weeks are about as bad. Once I had made up my mind that induction might actually be an option, I started to seriously think about whether I wanted it. I have been SO uncomfortable, and it seems to get worse every day. I imagine that by 40 1/2 weeks, I will be about ready to be done with this pregnancy no matter what! So, I had basically already made up my mind when one last consideration came into play. When we take our trip to Texas, we want to have Lexi baptized. When I talked to my priest, he said that the baptism needs to be at least 40 days after she's born. I counted backwards, and the latest she could be born to fit into that time frame would be April 24th....which ironically, is the same day my OB originally suggested. So, with all that in mind, I decided that if she isn't here by my 40 week appointment, I'm going to go ahead and schedule it. That would be Wednesday of next week. That means that, no matter what, in a week and 3 days, I will be having my baby. That really reassures me. It's like a promise that this won't last forever. I'm still hoping not to make it all the way to April 24th. One of the risks of induction is an increased chance of needing a c-section. I would really hate to have to get a c-section. But, no matter what happens, or how it happens, I know I will be nothing but glad once I've got my baby girl in my arms. Oh, one other consideration in favor of induction....I was born 10 days late, and weighed 10 lbs 3 ozs. I've read that in regards to birth weight, babies tend to take after their mothers. That means there's a good chance she's already at least 8 1/2 - 9 lbs. The longer she's in there, the heavier she'll get. I would SO hate to have to give birth to a 10 lb baby!!! When I was born, they had to use the salad tongs to get me out, and had that failed, my mom would probably have had a c-section. So gosh, I've got a risk of that no matter what, especially the longer she waits to come out!
So, I've got less than 1 1/2 weeks, tops. That gives me a little bit of comfort, as I stare with longing at the bassinet beside my bed. :)
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